Since as long as I can remember I have wanted to see Burlesque star Dita Von Teese perform live. For a while it seemed as if it might never happen, with the cost of shipping all her props down under just too great an expense. So imagine my delight when it was announced she would be touring Australia performing at Sydney’s Luna Park. That excitement turned you euphoric joy when Nice Events announced an exclusive VIP cocktail party hosted by Dita to be held prior to the show at an additional cost of $85 – meeting such an inspiring and talented business woman? Hells yes. By this point I was beyond excited.
This was slightly dampened after four phone calls to Ticketmaster who thoroughly stuffed up the tickets. Then snuffed out completely when Nice Events released a statement claiming they had made a mistake – the cocktail party would in fact not be hosted by Dita, but you could upgrade and see her after – for an additional $400. Thankfully my refund was processed quickly. I cannot adequately convey my disappointment at this turn of events. While it appears as if Nice Events were acting independently of Dita, I fail to understand how they could have made the promise of an appearance without actually asking her first. Not to mention their complete lack of empathy for the situation they had put many fans in, all their correspondence very much had a dismissive ‘whoops, our bad!’ attitude, with no compensation or adequate alternative offered. Their sense of crisis management really needs some work. So by the time the evening of the event rolled around, much of the glow had rubbed off. Not to mention, it fell on the Sunday of the huge Sydney storms so the weather was horrific and being a Sunday I knew I’d be paying $125 for a cab home. Naturally, none of this was Dita’s fault – more a victim of bad circumstance – but I couldn’t help but think to myself – she better be worth it.
MC Murray Hill arguably had the most difficult job of the night – keeping the crowd entertained between acts. He was side-splittingly, spit your drink out, champagne coming out of my nose, finding it hard to breathe funny. He managed to hold the audience in the palm of his hand and made the time between Dita’s performances almost as entertaining as the burlesque stars, which included, among others, Catherine D’lish, and Perle Noire.
As for the woman herself – there are no words. Stunning and sexy as hell, she saunters and strips across the stage to a sumptuous soundtrack, with beautiful, buff men on hand to catch her clothing as it falls. The costuming and set design were exceptional, with so much glitz and sparkle, it had me mesmerised by the sheer beauty of it all. Dita performed four separate acts, each more elaborate and sensational than the last. Her attention to detail, in both costuming and set design, is astounding and assists in presenting an incredibly polished and professional show. Both cheeky and sensual, Dita’s every movement is a lesson in seduction and she manages to make it look easy. With natural grace, style and a sense of glamour most of us only dream of, Dita truly is the Queen of Burleque. She was just as perfect as I had imagined and exceeded every expectation I had.
So despite what can only be described as a major cock-up on the part of Nice Events – and if Dita’s Management has any common sense they will never use them again – it was a brilliant night that had me equally in stitches and blinded by the sheer beauty and talent of the phenomenal woman on stage – and the jewels, oh so many jewels.